Post a joke

[Crusty]

The fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic, businessman, ...
salesman... and so forth. However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and helped to get Obama elected, but it's too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids."

[Timmi]

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. One of the men left to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so wealthy, he gave his best friend a Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Wow, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school & became a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company & he now owns the majority of its assets. He's so wealthy he gave his best friend a Lear jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He became so wealthy, he gave his best friend a 30,000 square foot mansion for his birthday." The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about how successful our sons are. What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "I just found out my son is gay & he makes his living dancing at a gay bar. The three friends said: "What a shame....What a scandal....what a terrible disappointment." The fourth man replied: "What do you mean? He's doing very well. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a Mercedes, a Lear jet & a mansion from his three boyfriends."

[Crusty]

Lmao!!

[Krazykevin58]

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock, brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand. I want something very special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man. seeing this, said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check. "I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds. I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said. Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account." "I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"

[Krazykevin58]

Four boys were fishing. As their boat rounded a point on the lake, they saw a man thrashing in the water. With no hesitation, they jumped into the water and saved him. It was not until they pulled him to shore that they noticed the man they had saved was President Obama, who had slipped away from the Secret Service for a swim. When President Obama caught his breath, he thanked the two boys and offered them anything they wanted in return for saving his life. The first boy thought about it for a while and finally answered. "I would like a presidential appointment to West Point so I can serve my country." The next two thought that was a great idea, but one said he had always wanted to be a pilot so he would rather attend the Air Force Academy. The third boy chose the Naval Academy. The president turned to the fourth boy, who was still thinking. Finally he answered, "Mr. President, I would like a burial with honors at Arlington National Cemetery" The president was shocked and asked the boy why he would make such a request at his young age. The boy replied "Because when my father finds out I saved you, he is going to kill me!"

[Yotehunter66]

I see how you changed Little Johnny's name to Justin to protect him Crusty.

[Crusty]

Yeah that poor Johnny sure got a bad rap

[chuddly]

good jokes...i will have to put some in here when i remember them LOL

[Crusty]

Here's one that got me punched from the wife lol
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they stink

[craig473]

Obama and his wife were on air force 1 and she pulled out one thousand dollars and said I could make someone very happy with this and he said I can divide it up and make ten people happy the pilot hearing the conversation told his co pilot listen to those big shots back there I can crash this plane and make 320 million people happy